Someone once told me that if your family is poor when you are twelve years old, then no matter how much financial success you have, you will always be fearful that you might lose it all. On the other hand, the theory goes that if your family was rich when you were twelve years old, then no matter how badly you are doing at any moment, you will likely believe that financial success is around the corner.
I write a lot about work/life balance, mental health, and the pursuit of things other than money in the legal profession.
My wife (and lawyer) Maureen McKay has laughed at me about this (among other things.) She has said, “Murray, if any of the young people who you counsel to pursue a balanced lifestyle were to have applied to your firm back when you were hiring Associates and talked about working reasonable hours and reserving evenings and weekends for their families, you would not have hired them.”
She’s right. But, in my defense, it’s complicated.
“I am happy because I’m grateful. I choose to be grateful. That gratitude allows me to be happy.”
~ Will Arnett
The other day I received a private message from a lawyer who I have never met in person. She expressed her appreciation for my contributions to the profession in my retirement and did so in a manner that was warm and sincere. I practically blushed when I read it. She made my day.
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.”
Steve Martin
I like money as much as the next guy. Actually, I like money much more than I like the next guy.
When I practiced law, I worried a lot. I worried about making a mistake on my files. I worried that I was too busy. I worried that I was not busy enough.
“Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.”
Joseph Heller
In some law firms there are politics among the Partners. Someone wants to be the managing partner or to win the compensation committee contest, and they need to win friends and influence people to get what they want.
I know, I know. You cannot believe it. This may be true in other firms, but certainly not in your firm.
In your firm, all of the Partners respect each other and support each other. They never talk behind each other’s back. They are hard on the issues and soft on the people. They certainly do not form cliques, count votes, or solicit support between meetings to win votes at the Compensation Committee or the Executive Committee.
This morning someone remarked that much of my writing about the legal profession is a tad negative. She said, “you practiced law for a long time; you were good at what you did; you made enough money to retire and travel the world. Surely you must have liked something about being a lawyer, didn’t you?”
There is currently a great deal of talk about mental health issues in the legal profession. It remains to be seen whether the profession will finally take mental health seriously, or whether the topic is simply the ‘flavour of the month’ and useful material for recruiting and marketing.
Back when I practiced law, it had been drummed into my head that every mistake was a potential catastrophe and a source of shame. I was a perfectionist and proud of it. I was also a little bit intense and not particularly healthy. I taught my Associates and Law Clerks to be just like me!
“All of this has happened before. All of this will happen again.”
Battlestar Galactica, Peter Pan, and Ecclesiastes 1:9
It is not often that I quote the Bible, but when the Bible is validated by both Peter Pan and Battlestar Galactica, it has to be right.
In 1994, which may as well be back before the beginning of recorded history as far as people entering law school now are concerned, the Los Angeles Times ran an article written by Amiram Elwork under the following title, “‘Justifiable Paranoia’ Afflicts Lawyers, Psychologist Says.”