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My Cousin the Watchmaker
Tag: lawfirms
I don’t consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin.
~ Leonard Cohen
I have a friend who is a Dermatologist. I will call him Howard. Howard knows a great deal about skin cancer, so he worries about contracting skin cancer. He wears long pants, long-sleeved shirts, and a hat all summer, and covers any exposed areas with sunblock. Some say that Howard is obsessive about that.
Murray (M) at my first rodeo:
Client (C): We need to close this transaction in two weeks.
M: That is impossible.
C: The Vendor said that his lawyer told him that deadline is perfectly reasonable. Why are you creating roadblocks? If you cannot get it done, I will find someone else who is willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.
Back in the day, before I became as warm, compassionate, empathic, and all-around loveable as I am today, I had something of a reputation as being someone who did not suffer fools gladly. There were even a few people around the office who found me to be intimidating. Of course, self-awareness not being my strong suit, I did not understand how anyone could have possibly found me to be anything other than wonderful.
In law firms, more zeros are better than fewer zeros. For example, announcing, “look at me! I just closed a $100,000,000 acquisition” impresses your colleagues more than saying, “I just did a deal worth $10,000,000.” A deal that was only worth $965,000 is not even worth mentioning. There just are not enough zeros. Frankly, it is almost embarrassing to have been involved with it.
When I had been practicing for about six years, I attended a meeting with two more senior lawyers to pitch a potential client on leaving a Big Law firm and coming to our mid-sized suburban firm. The other two were: (1) Sam, who was our managing partner, very business savvy, and a great marketer; and (2) Chuck, who was the senior corporate lawyer and also a great marketer. My late father would have described him as, “all flash, no cash.” Poor Chuck was an administrative disaster and despite his intelligence, a truly awful lawyer.
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Twenty-Four Hundred Hours
I spoke to two law firm partners this week, both of whom told me that their hourly expectation was 2,400 hours per year, consisting of 2,000 billable hours and 400 non-billable hours (administration, firm events, continuing education, business promotion, and mentoring).
I set about to do some math and determine how many hours these people have to spend on their mental and physical health and personal relationships. The law firms are all advertising their mental health initiatives, so I knew that it would be substantial!
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Big Law Does It Better
I am willing to bet that you did not expect that headline from me! And to be fair, I do not intend it as a general statement. What I am going to talk about is legal research, and it is a fact that Big Law does that better than the rest of us. While Big Law (and occasionally Medium Law) employs specialists to do their research, the rest of us either do it ourselves or give the job to articling students, summer students, or junior lawyers.
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If You Feed Them, They Will Come
When I articled, if lawyers or law students worked past 6 pm, they were welcome to dine at the firm’s expense, as long as they returned to the office to work after dinner.
That sounded like a great deal to a lowly paid student, and I was impressed with how considerate the firm was. Being a slow learner, it took me a while to realize that the firm was trying to encourage lawyers to work late into the evening. It took me even longer to figure out that the lawyers would often work until just after 6 pm, go to dinner until 7:30 pm, and return to the office just long enough to be seen by some partners, and then leave.
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Let’s Talk About Recruiters
Lawyers struggle to attract talent who are both capable and a good fit for a firm’s culture.
If only there were consultants who firms could retain and candidates could work with, who understand the market, the culture in different firms and practice groups, the current salaries being paid by firms of all sizes, and the expectations of law firms and candidates on a multitude of issues, including work from home, vacation entitlement, bonuses, and billable hour requirements.