Aaron Baer sent me an invitation to speak at the Authentic Legal Professionals Summit. He said, and I quote, “I’m going to gamble and say that you’re able to speak about one of those (autism, ADHD, Tourettes, or other neurodivergences.)”
All of this was a bit of an eye-opener to me, because at 69 ¾ years old, I was unaware that I was neurodivergent, but it seemed to be a pretty safe bet for Aaron.
Let me tell you about two different law firms.
Big Law Group One is a well-respected Canadian firm with many hundreds of lawyers, some of whom appear to be happier than others. Some of their dearly departed professionals have told me distressing stories about their lives at that firm, and the effect that the work demands had on their mental health. They also shared with me their feeling that the firm let them down when they required accommodation to recover from their mental health problems. They painted a picture of a firm which did not care much about its people, especially after those people became unable or unwilling to continue to sacrifice their health on the altar of billable hours.
I don’t consider myself a pessimist. I think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. And I feel soaked to the skin.
~ Leonard Cohen
I have a friend who is a Dermatologist. I will call him Howard. Howard knows a great deal about skin cancer, so he worries about contracting skin cancer. He wears long pants, long-sleeved shirts, and a hat all summer, and covers any exposed areas with sunblock. Some say that Howard is obsessive about that.
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By the time that I figured out that I could no longer cope with the pressures of the legal profession and that something had to give, I had been practicing business law for thirty-three years. What can I say… I am a slow learner. It took me almost another seven years to get out. I escaped with my health intact, but just barely.
I write a lot about work/life balance, mental health, and the pursuit of things other than money in the legal profession.
My wife (and lawyer) Maureen McKay has laughed at me about this (among other things.) She has said, “Murray, if any of the young people who you counsel to pursue a balanced lifestyle were to have applied to your firm back when you were hiring Associates and talked about working reasonable hours and reserving evenings and weekends for their families, you would not have hired them.”
She’s right. But, in my defense, it’s complicated.
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.”
Steve Martin
I like money as much as the next guy. Actually, I like money much more than I like the next guy.
The following recent headline in Law360 caught my attention: “Law360 Canada Pulse survey shows strong satisfaction among lawyers with their jobs.”
Although I love Law360 and think very highly of their writers, the headline took me aback because it does not ring true with my lived experience or what I am hearing from the trenches.
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Later he kicked Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden and decreed that from that date forward, people would have to work very, very hard, just to survive.
From then until recently, if you chose Law as your profession, you did not have to read much further into the Bible to understand what was expected of you.
The other day my wife, Maureen, told me about a friend who was complaining that his busy adult children do not call him very often. Her friend asked Maureen, “Don’t they care about their dad?” To which Maureen replied, “they care… in their spare time.”
Maureen had it exactly right. Busy people tend to focus on the issues in their life that require their immediate attention. They put the things that they can take for granted aside to worry about when they can find the time.