The old timers among us will remember the 1970 movie Love Story, which featured what may be the stupidest line of dialogue ever. I refer to the statement that “love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
It would take a lawyer to build upon that bit of nonsense and make it into something even worse. And we are up to the challenge!
I am spending this winter on cruise ships, trying to escape the cold, the snow, and everything back home that reminds me of working in a law firm.
With a cruise ship comes shore excursions, and with shore excursions come busses, and with busses come bus drivers and tour guides. With tour guides and bus drivers come tips. For those of you who may not be aware, tour guides and bus drivers share their tips, much like partners in law firms split up the year’s profits. Which brings me to my story.
I was the managing partner of a law firm for a while. At that time I saw myself as being something like Cassandra, who the Gods punished by giving her the ability to foresee the future while dooming her to never be believed. I used to try my best to convince my partners to see things my way. After all, I knew how things were going to turn out if they did not listen to me. Not only did some of them not listen, but they actively tried to subvert the things that I was doing for their benefit.
“Work hard, earn a great living, get whatever you want out of life, have all the stuff you want. But there should be a ceiling on it-enough is enough!”
~ Sandy Duncan
I used to think that I was a fairly sophisticated guy. I got me an education. I was a partner in a law firm. I advised some successful clients. But since I retired, moved to the country, and bought a pick-up truck, I have been rethinking some things and I realize that perhaps I am, and have always been, more of an Okie from Muskogee, or in Canadian terms, a hick from Temiskaming. And I am happy to be one.
I never worked in-house. Of course, having no experience working in-house is not going to stop me from spouting off about in-house counsel (“IHC”).
So, here we go!
In law firms, more zeros are better than fewer zeros. For example, announcing, “look at me! I just closed a $100,000,000 acquisition” impresses your colleagues more than saying, “I just did a deal worth $10,000,000.” A deal that was only worth $965,000 is not even worth mentioning. There just are not enough zeros. Frankly, it is almost embarrassing to have been involved with it.
When I had been practicing for about six years, I attended a meeting with two more senior lawyers to pitch a potential client on leaving a Big Law firm and coming to our mid-sized suburban firm. The other two were: (1) Sam, who was our managing partner, very business savvy, and a great marketer; and (2) Chuck, who was the senior corporate lawyer and also a great marketer. My late father would have described him as, “all flash, no cash.” Poor Chuck was an administrative disaster and despite his intelligence, a truly awful lawyer.
Whoever Dies With The Most Stuff Wins
–David Mitchell
The other day someone asked me why so many lawyers work excessive hours on the road to mental and physical health issues, divorce, and addiction.
The answer is simple. It is greed.
“Leadership is a two-way street, loyalty up and loyalty down.”
Grace Murray Hopper
I thought that it might be fun to test my skills as a writer, by writing about two things that have virtually nothing to do with each other. I considered writing about mosquitos and energy drinks, flags and ostriches, or trees and jet skis. But I wanted to find things that are irreconcilable, regardless of any possible context. After much thought, I hit upon “loyalty” and “law firms.”
I am retired. I did not have a vote in the last Law Society of Ontario (“LSO”) election, at which party politics showed up for the first time.
Although I did not have a horse in the race, I did follow the nastiness from afar. Various candidates were not satisfied with debating ideas. They found it necessary to vilify their opponents.