I recently wrote about the spate of AI-generated departure posts on LinkedIn, in which lawyers thank everyone in the wonderful firms that they are leaving, lauding their phenomenal experience, and teasing the “next chapter of their journey.” I called it malarkey, but only because it is malarkey.
Here is a version of a departure announcement that a lawyer recently posted on LinkedIn, which I have rewritten slightly to recast it as if he were getting divorced:
“After three years of growth, learning and development with my excellent wife, today I close out an important and rewarding chapter in my life.
I am truly grateful for the opportunities I have had and experience I have gained with my wife and her family, who have helped make this portion of my journey so impactful. I leave this marriage a better person than when I met my wife, and that is solely a result of her and her fantastic family and friends who I had the pleasure to interact with over my time in this wonderful marriage.
While it is never easy to say goodbye to an amazing family, I am excited for my next chapter and the challenges that lie ahead.
I eagerly look forward to announcing my next domestic adventure shortly. Stay tuned.”
If the departing lawyer is sincere, I am hard-pressed to imagine for what possible reason he might be leaving his firm.
Or maybe “he doth protest too much,” and his experience was not as awe-inspiring as he has tried to convey.
And what is with the “cliffhanger” that hints at a great future but never says what the person is going to be doing next?
It might be that the delighted departing lawyer has no idea where he is going, in which case he was either fired or so miserable or underpaid that he quit. That would make his whole announcement disingenuous.
More likely, he has a much better situation waiting for him, but he did not want to include that in the divorce announcement, because it would make his cheery goodbye look insincere.
I understand that well-brought-up young lawyers might believe “that if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” But these happy-go-lucky lawyers are skipping merrily out of their firms saying wonderful things, so there must be more to it. Perhaps it has to do with not burning bridges.
Personally, I think that it is yet another example of people following the current flavour of the month spit out by AI. To test that theory, I asked ChatGPT to draft a departure notice for a third-year lawyer. It read much like this lawyer’s announcement, and included the following:
“After three incredible years at [law firm name], it’s time for my next chapter.
Reflecting on my time here, I am deeply grateful for the opportunities, challenges and growth I’ve experienced. Over the past three years, I’ve had the privilege of working alongside exceptionally talented colleagues, tackling complex legal matters and advocating for wonderful clients.
A huge thank you to my mentors, partners and team members who guided, challenged and supported me along the way. The lessons learned and relationships built here will undoubtedly shape the rest of my career.
Stay tuned for updates on what’s next!”
Am I the only one who is not buying this bunch of malarkey?
This article was originally published by Law360 Canada, part of LexisNexis Canada Inc
Newly qualified lawyers are not known for being mature, confident, well-rounded, and psychologically sound. And why should we expect them to be? Most of them are young, having just emerged from years of student life. Few have had a significant prior career. They have likely graduated, with substantial debt, from schools that have not adequately trained them to practice law.
Say what you will about Big Law (and I say plenty of unflattering things about them), at least when they hire a junior lawyer, they give them a generous salary and benefits, and more often than not, appropriate training and mentoring.
I was spending time with some young folks the other night. I heard a phrase which was new to me, but apparently not to the rest of the world. “C’s get degrees” has something to do with prioritizing the enjoyment of life, and physical and mental health, over stressing out to achieve high grades. Are the people who live by this adage low on ambition or high on life? I really don’t know. I suppose that it depends on your perspective.
This is my very first article that is not about the legal profession – but it might as well be.
I know a recently graduated professional, finally free to make his mark on the world, and eager as hell to go out and make something of himself. It is not an easy job market out there, as we have all heard. It apparently has something to do with us evil Boomers having ruined the world, but that is a topic for another day.
My friends Jim and Sheila love dogs. They used to share their residence with a rescue dog named Henry. Dragons live forever, but not so little dogs. So when Henry got sick and his demise was imminent, Jim built a coffin for Henry so that it would be ready when needed to carry Henry to his final resting place in the woods.
While Jim was building his coffin, Henry would see him working on it. After it was finished, Henry could see the coffin, just sitting there and waiting for him.
Many years ago, I knew a young couple who were very much in love. The young lady loved the idea of pleasing her parents and impressing her friends by marrying a good-looking boy with a promising career. The young man was in love with the idea of having a pretty girl on his arm who would respect and adore him. They were both in love with the idea of moving on to the stage of life that today’s young people call “adulting.”
A holocaust survivor who I know once asked me, “who says you are supposed to be happy?”
Paul is a junior lawyer. His supervising lawyer expects every document that Paul creates to be perfect. In order to ensure that this standard is met, all of Paul’s draft documents, no matter how routine, are reviewed and often revised. Paul resents the extra time that is required to achieve that standard, especially since he is working many, many hours.