Category: Fluff

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Fluff

If You Feed Them, They Will Come

A man and a woman having a business lunch.
Photo by Gustavo Fring at Pexels.

When I articled, if lawyers or law students worked past 6 pm, they were welcome to dine at the firm’s expense, as long as they returned to the office to work after dinner.

That sounded like a great deal to a lowly paid student, and I was impressed with how considerate the firm was. Being a slow learner, it took me a while to realize that the firm was trying to encourage lawyers to work late into the evening. It took me even longer to figure out that the lawyers would often work until just after 6 pm, go to dinner until 7:30 pm, and return to the office just long enough to be seen by some partners, and then leave.

read more about free food and law firms “If You Feed Them, They Will Come”
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Fluff

Could Someone Please Pay Me Off Already?

Gold bars. Photo by Michael Steinberg at Pexels.

I have been railing against the establishment in the legal profession for going on four years already. You would think that by now I would have annoyed at least a few well-established lawyers with deep pockets.

It seems to me that by this time someone would have offered to pay me at least six figures to abandon my principles, put down my metaphorical pen, and shut up.

read more about my dilemma “Could Someone Please Pay Me Off Already?”
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Fluff

Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions

A sad looking clown making a gesture as if shooting himself in the head.
Photo by Jhefferson Sandos at Pexels.

Here are some of the questions potential clients asked me back when I was practicing law and the answers that I wanted to give them, but never did:

Q. How much will it cost to draft a shareholder’s agreement?

A. If you are shopping for professional services based on price, I really do not want you for a client. I suggest that you find a lawyer who will draft the agreement for you for $750.00 and pray that you never have a dispute with your partner.

read more stupid questions and snappy answers “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions”
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Fluff

Chutzpah

Confident looking man wearing sunglasses.
Photo by Chloe at Pexels.

A man murders his father and his mother and is prosecuted for both crimes. He is hauled up in front of the judge and pleads guilty. When it comes to sentencing, he begs for mercy because he is an orphan. That is the classic explanation of what constitutes chutzpah.

If you are looking for other examples of chutzpah, you may be able to find them in the legal profession.

read more about chutzpah in the legal profession “Chutzpah”
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Fluff

Murray’s Rant About Partners Meetings

The author wearing sunglasses and a T-shirt with the words "ihate my partner.com"

I hated partners meetings. Not because I did not like most of my partners. In fact, I quite enjoyed spending time with the majority of them. But there were always one or two…

After many years of contemplating why I disliked partners meetings so much, I developed a theory. Here it is.

read more about why I hated Partners Meetings “Murray’s Rant About Partners Meetings”
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Fluff

How Much is Enough?

Docks at a marina in the fall.

I accumulated some money practicing law. Not as much as I may have put away if I had practiced on Bay Street. Less than I would have held onto if I had not had a domestic reorganization. Not quite as much as I would have had if I had not made a few stupid financial decisions along the way. But, all in all, a tidy sum which should see me through my retirement in fairly good style if do not do anything stupid, get sick in an expensive way that is not covered by government health insurance or make any more dumb investments.

I have friends who have a lot more. They have bigger houses, fancier cars and more toys, and they travel more frequently and to more expensive destinations. Does this make them happier?

Yes, it does.

I really should have worked harder. And you should stop reading this nonsense and put in a few more billable hours.

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Fluff

Accountants: Stay in Your Lane

calculator and pen on a page of numbers
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels

I like accountants a lot. Most of them.  But as for the others, here is something that I always wanted to say when I was practicing law but it seemed like a bad idea at the time while I was looking for referrals: Stay in your bloody lane!

Good accountants do accounting, tax, business consulting and some other stuff that relates to numbers (although the business valuators that I know to seem to think that the average accountant should keep their mouth shut about valuations.)

Bad accountants incorporate companies and draft letters of intent. Poorly. If it was up to me, I would report every last one of them for the unauthorized practice of law.

Did you ever see even a single lawyer prepare a financial statement? No, you didn’t.

I have lots of critical things to say about lawyers, but at least they usually try to practice only the profession for which they are licensed.

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Fluff

Resentment and My Robot Vaccum

Robot Vaccum
Photo by Jens Mahnke from Pexels

Saint Augustine is reported to have said that “resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

read more about my Robot Vaccum “Resentment and My Robot Vaccum”
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Fluff

Translations From Lawyer Talk Part Nine: Talking to the Newbies

Group of lawyers speaking to each other.
Photo by August de Richelieu from Pexels

Beginner lawyers need to understand Partner Talk (“PT”), which is the language that law firm partners use. 

Here to help the newbies are some translations from Partner Talk to Plain English (“PE”):

read more about talking to the newbies “Translations From Lawyer Talk Part Nine: Talking to the Newbies”
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Fluff

Citiots

Fall colours on trees across the water with empty docks in the foreground.

Prior to retiring from the practice of law, I lived in big cities for my entire life. Upon retirement I moved to the country. Due to Covid and people learning that they can work from home, moving to the country is now something that many people are doing.

In any event, there are a lot of new things to learn when you move to the country. One of the first things that you must learn is that it is important to differentiate yourself from the Citiots.

To help you do that, I have compiled a list of ways to tell if you are a Citiot.

read more to find out if you are a citiot “Citiots”